When I was a little boy
by SSOTVDG
Summary: When I was a boy... I could not help but stare up at the man I fell in love with, and now that I'm all grown up... the man I am in love with cannot even look at me without hate. SShp, details inside.
1. AN details

**~Please read~**

Title: When I was a little boy...

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairings: Severus\Harry, slight Draco\Harry (implied... et cetra)

Rating: M ( R) [NC-17]

Notes:

poem\regular writings

_flashback (kinda stuff)_

_**thoughts**_

-Parsteltongue-

"talking"

'_talking in flashback'_

_**'thinking in flashback'**_

_**WARNINGS: SLASH/YAOI (homosexual relations), Chan\Shota (young child with adult\legally aged person),Slight D\s relationship, Sexual situations, NO HET. WHAT-SO-EVER... (things will be added later on...)**_

Additional notes: Occulmency training for my story happens in fifth year, everything else that happened is all good... unless I change it... :) its kind of a creature fic... for the mate part... what Harry is is a secret! So be nice and wait.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter or anything legally tied to the story, movies...et cetra. I do NOT make any money or gain any form of compensation for my writings, I do this purely for fun. I do, however own the poem (not the first line unfortunately, that is from a song I heard at the end of the movie Zathura.)

Summary: When I was a boy... I could not help but stare up at the man I fell in love with, and now that I'm all grown up... the man I am in love with cannot even look at me without hate, and I want to cry. Follow Harry through the thick (and thin) of his quest to tell his mate the truth about himself...

...and so let us begin...


	2. Prologue

**Prologue**

When I was a little boy...

The devil called my name.

When I was a little boy...

I fell in love.

When I was a little boy...

I was in love with the devil.

A long time ago the devil kissed me.

Now that I'm all grown up...

The devil hates me.

Now that I'm all grown up...

I'm the devil.

_'Harry... Haaaryyy... My sweet little Harry... it's time to wake up.'_

_A methodical voice cooed in my ear... It is the one that I belong to. My name is always sweet on those lips, and I never tire of hearing that name. _

_I open my eyes to see a man with such a pale complexion... I always wonder if he ever sits outside to let the sun kiss him everywhere..._

_The man has such long black hair, like mum's... but his is so much more beautiful. _

_I reach my hand up and gently grab at the locks that are dangling over me- they are so soft- a soft giggle passing my lips... and his lips thin a fraction, his smile becoming garishly bright... and I love it._

_'Severus, Harry just loves to see you... so much brighter... not even me or James can make him that happy!'_

_that's my mum's voice... _

_At the mention of my dad's name the man frowns, and I want to make him happy._

_It was always that way; at the mention of my fathers name, the man would always frown... and then I'd make him happy._

_He would kiss me soundly on the forehead... and sometimes- sometimes- he would sneak a kiss to my small lips._

_**...and now that I'm all grown up, he will not even look at me.**_


	3. Mishap and detentions: Do not call

_**Chapter one:**_

_**Mishap and detentions: Do not call the kettle black.**_

_**...and now that I'm all grown up, he will not even look at me.**_

_**For a while after I entered Hogwarts I did not know why Severus was so wary of me, scowling at me; even outright sneering. A very long time ago he found out that he was to be my mate... the night Tom killed my parents... he was there before they where killed. Mum told him to run, she would protect me... and she did. I'd always wondered where Severus was on nights my uncle came to beat me into a pulp... but now wasn't the time to think that.**_

An irate Severus Snape paced the rows of Slytherins and Gryffindores, watching with such scrutiny for the slightest slip. He had learned early on that Harry was a good potions brewer... but his Slytherins always botched the boys great-quality potions up... and that alone made him mad. The simple fact the boy could even match his quality with the given ingredients made him mad... but if he was honest with himself, he was ecstatically prod his mate was such an exceptional brewer.

He scowled at Neville longbottom, the boy was just horrid. Good thing he choose a non-explosive potion for today's class. He then caught sight of Harry: who was leaning over his cauldron with such a look of concentration on his face. Granger went to add the Lilly petals and Harry squeaked.. Merlin how Severus loved the boys reactions.

The boy hurriedly pored in powdered Fup, the girl flinching as she glared at the boy. The potion went from green to a light purple and the girl stared at it before looking shocked at Harry. Though Harry was more or less critically eying his potion... the shade was slightly off... and he began to think of what could cause It, but he couldn't come up with anything.

Severus instantly felt a stab of jealousy, and he could hardly figure out why...but it faded as Harry smiled and said whispered "Oh, hush." ...and Severus pounced on the chance.

Stealthily he walked up behind the two Gryffindores and leaned forward so that his mouth was almost level with his mates ear before he spoke "Mr. Potter." said boy jumped and squeaked, almost falling from the bench he sat on. The boy looked up at the professor and just as he was about to apologize he stopped himself and just stared.

Harry just couldn't help it as he stared. The man was just as beautiful as the first time he had seen the man. Severus was just simply breath taking to the boy. As the boy stared he began thinking about the last four years he had gotten to look at the man... and he became sad.

Four years of staring at his mate... it was ridiculous. The laws on mates where special... they could have any type of relationship without worrying about technicalities and such issues as it being wrong or illegal. They could have each other at any time... It was getting harder and harder for Harry to not be able to be with his mate.

He could feel his magical maturity come upon him and was scared. When Severus had found out he was Harry's mate; Lilly and (grudgingly) James had told him, and where happy there little boy was going to have such a mate... and Severus seemed overly joyed to have finally had a mate... so Harry had to ask why the man acted like he hated him so much! Did Severus not want him? Want a mate? Harry wanted to cry so badly at that moment... and then he heard Severus yell "Detention!"

He snapped out of his thoughts to notice that he had dropped something into his potion... resulting in a bubbly mass. It had foamed over the table and directly onto him. He knew he should have looked more into the shade change.

Suddenly he felt his stomach twist and his magic fluctuate. **Shit!** He mentally yelled at he became dizzy.** This can't be happening now!** He knew what this meant. He was going through his magical inheritance... right now!

He saw the man banish the over-spilling potion as he swayed lightly in his chair trying to contain in for as long as he could, hoping the professor would feel it and rush him to the hospital wing.

He knew it was coming; his emotions had been going haywire for almost two weeks... he had been moody and having 'Magical episodes' where random things would blow up. He clenched his teeth and gripped the table harder as he felt like he was going to be sick. It hurt so much! Nothing like the beatings he received from his uncle.

He couldn't take much more of it, and like a twig he snapped and whimpered "Severus..." before falling over in front of the man he called for.

_**A/N: I know this chapter was short, but I assure you the chapters from her on in will be much longer. Thank you for reading!**_


	4. AUTHORS NOTEpwease read?

greeting, comment- apology; excuse, excuse. Excuse, apology. farewell...

Aaaah... hello. So, i know some people want to chop my head off. =/ A bit sorry. Unfortunetly because [i got a lap-top runing the starter version of WIN. 7] i dislike windows 7... i went to downgrade. Downgrading doesnt work to well from 7 to xp.. (plus it doesnt run any of my later programs like beat hazard and Nero- which freeze up... 7,that is.)... and deleted all my files. ='( but, anyways... i screwed with the partitions and stuff and my laptop went wonky. =(

So, it took me about a month to fix. (and before the laptop i had spent most of my time fixing my dinasour gateway from when i was eight (which still isnt fixed). =/ Added with emotional stress, not being able to sleep, and physical stress... plustheshrink... aha... it didnt all fit well together. But, Thanks to my lovely furture husband- he got me back up on my feet and ready to write again. ^^

So, now that im sorting crap out in all the right directions, im ready to start writing again! :) ...but... one story at a time- im gonna start off again with a previous story that i can get back in the feel to. Might take me a few weeks or so... so no quick promises.

BUT!-

If your really jonsing for an update, message me and in about a week ill tell ya' which story ill be adding to.

Bai-Bai...  
~SSOTVDG 


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